?Classics? of power metal #12: ANCIENT BARDS - The Alliance Of The Kings (2010), early impressions

Prior exposure to this band/record:  Zero.

The Alliance Of The Kings (which fortunately seems to be its official title, as I would refuse out of principle to write out The Alliance Of The Kings - The Black Crystal Sword Saga Pt. 1) begins with a spoken word section that frames the record, in part, as follows:

Sendor, the Supreme Dark Wizard, came to know about the existence of a mysterious sword that gave its holder absolute power: immortal life, unbelievable strength, and knowledge of all magic.

No one knew about the sword except the four Kings from the four corners of the world.

The sword had been hidden in the Dark Cave in Noland under the cover of darkness, and locked in a hidden place that could only be opened if the four weapons of the four Kings were revealed before it...

And it goes on like that, but I might fall asleep if I try to transcribe any more.  Let's pretend for just a sec to ignore any language barriers that might lead one to snicker at the fact that she pronounces "sword" as "sehrd;" I'll get plenty of mileage out of that later.  Bigger point is that as an lifelong reader of fantasy novels who likes what he likes, I have to note that this is terrible storytelling.  There's something wrong with your narrative if you're introducing your fetch quests (collect four artifacts to proceed!) before you're even framing the stakes beyond "evil character is evil" (I guess you don't become a supreme dark wizard by half-assing the evil) and "magical McGuffin exists."  Here I'm reminded of an anecdote from someone who pitched a Star Trek script and went through the mechanisms of the plotting, only to receive the calm response from Gene Roddenberry "okay, now tell me why I should care."  What's the hook here?  An interesting, or at least cool character?  A unique setting?  A level of sophistication in the way the conflict is framed?  A reason that this shit couldn't stay in the album booklet where it belongs?

But of course, as we've definitely learned from diving into this series, fantasy-themed lyrics really aren't what elevate the best power metal, and even the worst lyrics aren't enough to sink a power metal song.  We should focus on the music.  And here, Ancient Bards hit us with... what can only be described as Rhapsody-core.  They immediately jump as out as the first band in my blogging that I've come across that seem to deeply, desperately, want to emulate another act.  Seemingly every song has a galloping riff, bridge features a bombastic keyboard part followed by a bombastic guitar part that runs across the scales with aplomb.*  Throw in some choral-style vocals, and you've got a record that's poor man's Rhapsody across the board.  

Look, I've been open about the fact that - based on limited exposure that consists mostly of Symphony Of Enchanted Lands - I don't even like Rhapsody all that much.  Maybe it's no surprise that a record made by and for Rhapsody fans isn't working much for me.  I'm not the target demographic here, so they're not going to cater to anything resembling my tastes**.  But, look, I have no problem saying that Rhapsody have their place in the metalsphere for a reason.  Based on what little I do know about that band, I can give a steelman*** presentation about why they're (allegedly) great without much effort.  And that's even if you're like me and don't much care for Fabio's vocals - itself very much a minority view within power metal!  Even then, Rhapsody clearly excel in a few areas.  One is the intricacy of their orchestration, to the point of bringing in actual orchestras.  They do not skimp on the compositional side - their bombast in the symphonic parts is backed up by sophisticated arrangements.  Although I formerly expressed doubts on this point, I am now convinced that they understand which parts should go to which instruments, and the songs ramble more than I'd like but do fit together better than one would expect on repeat listens.  I'm far from convinced so far that Ancient Bards have the same compositional skill.  I get pretty bored pretty quickly with their instrumental passages - yeah, Claudio, you can play really fast - and am not convinced yet that they fit together into a coherent song.  Two is that however fancy they get, Rhapsody's vocal melodies have a sense of the anthemic.  Rhapsody will usually, eventually, bring you back to a big power metal chorus.  "For the king, for the land, for the mountains..." gets the blood pumping in a way that  "it's the beginning of a new world, now that Sendor has got the sword" simply doesn't.  So, if forced to choose, I wouldn't hesitate to go with the eeemerald sward over the black crystal sehrd.

I have to strain harder to come up with things that Alliance does well, but I can come up with a short list.  

1)  The bits of isolated bass, used most memorably at the start of "The Birth Of Evil," and the bridge of "Only The Brave," tends to sound good; so many metal bassists get buried by the fact that metal has the tendency to be loud, so it's nice to see one get a chance to shape the songs.  2)  The opening riff of "Only The Brave" sounds so good that one can be forgiven for forgetting the rest of the song.  Immediately stands out as something different from the rest of the record, using the rapid power-metal guitar to build a chord pattern based entirely on the downbeats and then throwing all that other stuff in between them.  Best twenty-ish seconds or so of the record for me, and I get more excited when that comes back in than I do the actual chorus. 

3)  Ancient Bards do occasionally, although too fleetingly for my taste, come upon a really nice minor chord that counterpoints the main melody.  Whatever it is that hits that sweet spot of right note at right time, this band is actually able to manage it here and there.  I like the verse of "Frozen Mind."  I like the pre-chorus of "Farewell My Hero." 

3a)  And hell, once in a while they'll just throw in a delightful little change-up like switching from one of their heaviest riffs to abruptly give us a playful bit of what can only be called bounciness at around 6:50 of "Daltor The Dragonhunter."  

4)  Sara Squadrani may be gradually winning me over as a vocalist.  She sticks mostly to a pleasant mid-range but shows that she can selectively belt while hitting the right notes.  When the band slows down like on "Lode Al Padre," Sara has the confidence to just sing normally, not getting overly wispy or wimpy.  For whatever it's worth, I think her vocals get stronger when she fleetingly drifts into Italian.

So, that's where I am for now.   As always with the first post in a pair, this is an early reaction.  Maybe repeat listens will bring out the underlying structure in these songs, the way they can for anything sufficiently proggy.  More likely, this is going to be a long few weeks for me.  I still do believe that there's someone out there who can refine Rhapsody's sword-and-symphony formula into something a little more accessible to me with which I'll really click.  I'm thinking Ancient Bards probably are not that band.  C'mon, record, prove me wrong!

Stray thoughts:

- I thought of coming up with a long list of most hilariously awful lyrics at which to point and laugh (for example - "Sendor has found the magical sehrd/Sendor wants to conquer the world"), but the record "peaks" early in that regard.  Specifically, I don't think anything is topping "his weapon is the magical stick" - in the motherfucking chorus, mind you - anytime soon.  A reminder that this is music being marketed to adults.  

- I'm going to move on from this, but one more bit of snark about the lyrics:  if there's already enough dark wizards that you have a supreme dark wizard - again, an actual lyric in an actual song - how can you justify calling one of them getting a little stronger "the birth of evil?"  Unless you're making a "power corrupts" argument, which this story does not seem to be doing, the whole idea of power falling into the wrong hands presupposes the idea that evil already exists.    

- A bit of wiki-reading leads me to believe that Daniele Mazza, the keyboardist, is the band's big auteur and possibly its principal songwriter.  That explains a few things.  (What exactly it explains is beyond me, but presumably, a few things.)

- I did listen to a bit more vintage Rhapsody in preparation for writing this post, mostly to make sure I wasn't talking out of my ass in my comparisons between the two bands.  Again, not a massive fan, but for what it's worth, there is more that I find interesting in the five-ish minute song "Warrior Of Ice" than there is in the entirety of The Alliance Of The Kings.

- Until next time, concentrate on the Black Guardian, everyone.  Anticipate his moves.  Truly advice by which we can all live.****  

Favorite track:  "Only The Brave"

Runner up:  "Frozen Mind"

Least favorite track:  "Daltor The Dragonhunter"

Early rating:  2/5

Next:  More on The Alliance Of The Kings, whenever I get around to it!

*Oh, and by the way, I was going to complain about multiple songs, including "The Birth Of Evil" and "Frozen Mind" basically all having the same melody as Falconer's "A Quest For The Crown."  However, my dabbling in Rhapsody led me to conclude that Falconer should actually get no credit, because that's also more or less the same tune as the one from Rhapsody's "The Village Of Dwarves."  It probably predates that too.  The medieval themed bands just seem to fall into the same pattern of notes when they go into a sing-song cadence. 

**Sample size is too small to jump to reductive conclusions, but I do wonder if I just don't do well with metal that sounds distinctly Italian, for whatever reason.

***If you don't know that term, I've heard "steelman" used as the opposite of strawman.  So, in the name of escalating rhetoric, you're trying to present the best available argument for a position with which you don't agree.

****Okay, I lied when I said that was the last bit of snark.*****

*****I'm actually not liking how arch and smug my writing gets when engaging with something I find intolerably silly.